38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
