I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize