It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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