she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize