areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize