I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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