wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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