See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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