I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
