you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
