you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
