i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she looked like the before picture.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
