super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
