he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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