You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
