3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
