and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
