she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
