...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
