What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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