Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
