do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You ruined the universe
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
