My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
