She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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