The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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