Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
