I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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