Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
