the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
