and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
