If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
