You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize