a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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