I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
