btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
