Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize