i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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