Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
