i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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