How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize