Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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