omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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