YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
