It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
