ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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