That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize