I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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