Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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