Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
