So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
