he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
