i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
