Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
