I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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