If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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