just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
