Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
