Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
