I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize