don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
