I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
