I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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