Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
