Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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