And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
