i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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