I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
